


Phantom Pains

by jhopeinfiresme



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Phantom pain, Physical Disability, Platonic Relationships, Swearing, if you wanna hc it romantic then i guess, obviously, platonic or romantic idc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-14 15:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopeinfiresme/pseuds/jhopeinfiresme
Summary: Octavio is having a rough night. He falls in the middle of the night and suddenly he can feel the pain of the grenade that blew off his legs years ago as if it happened just minutes ago. He's hurting and so so angry. If it isn't real, then how come it hurts so much? He calls for Ajay, and hopes she can help him - despite all his yelling and screaming.





	Phantom Pains

**Author's Note:**

> hmm here we go again. I feel like its recurring in the fandom to hurt Octane but I'm not complaining! He and Ajay are really close in this, I like to imagine they've been friends since they were real little so they kinda have soulmate energy. There's nothing especially romantic so go wild?
> 
> p.s. all spanish comes from google translate!

_Bang!_

“Shit! Ah, _fuck!_ ”

Octavio groans, deep and loud, like an angry growl. His face is pressed to the old hotel carpet in just the worst way. An awful burn is definitely going to show up on his cheek if a bruise doesn't form on the bone.

“Hijo de - _shit,_ ” he grits out. He landed right on his wrist and somehow his legs and now there's lightning shooting through his fingers and throbbing pain up his thighs. It spreads to his hips and god he wants to curl up it hurts so bad.

He uses his right arm to push himself on to his back, eyes closed just as tight as his jaw. The pain in his left wrist is fading but it's well compensated for with the aches coming from his lower body.

A painful throb wracks through his thighs, making him shudder and tense at the same time. He throws his head back and it hits the ground with a _thud._ He groans in frustration, fingers scratching desperately at the carpet beneath him, trying to grasp at anything for stability. All he gets is dirt under his nails and a brand new headache.

Octavio scowls, breathing in harshly through his nose and gritted teeth. He opens his eyes only to be met with darkness. Of course. It's the middle of the goddamn night and he's on the ground of a hotel bedroom in a hell of a lot of pain for _no reason._ There's some kind of light coming from the other side of the room but he can't tell because something big is in the way.

He grabs for it. Silky bed sheets meet his sweaty hands and he can't get damn hold on the bed. He tries to claw at the edge of the mattress and pull himself up but it's a terrible angle and he just keeps slipping. The shitty blankets spilling on the ground only make things worse. When he finally lifts himself up a bit, _something_ just has to get tangled and he slips right back down.

The fall is the perfect height and angle for Octavio to land right on the edge of his stump. It shoots pain up his spine like a grenade beneath his feet, an explosion from his toes to his fingertips. He's not sure what he said or how loud he said it but Octavio is sure he yells something before blacking out for a heart beat.

He snaps back to, just as groggy but with twice as much pain, at the sound of rapping at the hotel door. The relentless, high pitched noise has Octavio pressing his hands to his temples with a growl.

“ ‘Ey, brutha? You need something? Octavio?” Makoa's voice carries through the door easily. How long has he been knocking? There's such a clear sense of urgency and fear behind his voice that makes Octavio's finger curl. The rapping isn't too high, too deep, or too loud, it's just _annoying._

Octavio growls through his teeth, managing out, “ _Ajay._ ”

Makoa must hear it because he doesn't respond and runs off quickly. Octavio really isn't paying attention. He's trying to press his fingers into his temples as hard as he can in attempt to stop his raging headache. But it's all for nothing because he knows, ironically, his body will never let him hurt himself like that.

Maybe it's not so much a headache as it is a general ache. Octavio tries to breathe evenly to calm down. His left wrist still hurts, his face feels raw, his head definitely hurts, and everything from the middle of his back down is absolutely on fire. The spot on his stump where he had landed on _twice_ is giving non stop throbbing sensations that travel up and down both legs until he's gabbing for shit again.

Suddenly, the room is flooded with light. The old hotel lamps are dim but Octavio is a little sensitive right now and it blinds him. He growls, quickly covering his eyes with his arms to block it out.

“O-oh, no.”

Ajay rushes up to Octavio. He can hear her kneel down beside him and can clearly imagine her face of genuine concern. It soothes him tenfold when he hears her voice, his breathing coming out easier through his tight chest.

“Here, let me getcha up…” she says. Her voice is soft, caring, as if nothing is wrong.

Octavio tries to believe it as she works to grab his waist. It's usually impossible for Ajay to help him up without his cooperation, so he blindly reaches for her shoulders through squinted eyes. The light is still too bright for his headache. It makes pain ripple behind his eyes and around his head until it comes back around to repeat.

He curls his fingers in Ajay's clothes as she picks him up from the dirty carpet. Octavio hoped getting off the ground would relieve some pressure but it backfires. All at once, his body feels heavy, as if all is blood is rushing down his legs. His thighs feel impossibly hot as a rush of pain travels up his spine, then down to rotate around his hips.

He yells, fumbling in the onslaught of pain. The sheets he had piled on himself are twisted around his body uncomfortably. Ajay had picked them up with him but as soon as he starts flailing, they threaten to slip Octavio out of her hold.

Octavio doesn't really know what he's doing. He tries to grab tighter to his friend so he won't fall but at the same time, push her away since she had made him hurt again. It's difficult for him to move anywhere wrapped up in the sheets and it frustrates him, making him want to get free even more.

“Hold _still,_ Octavio,” Ajay hisses. She's probably got a scowl on her face as she wrangles Octavio's flailing limbs.

He doesn't stop moving, but she gets him on the bed nonetheless. He's still gritting his teeth from the white hot pain when he manages to open his eyes. He sees Ajay unravelling the off white bed sheets from his body. Her pink hair is down, covering her eyes. He can tell from her other features that she's stressed. Octavio wants to feel instantly better now that she's here but once she frees him from the bed sheets, his heart stops with a stuttering jolt.

It's the mix of feeling blinding pain in his legs one minute and seeing a distinct lack of those very limbs the next that causes him to panic. Something just clicks and all logic that he hasn't had legs for years goes out the window. It's like realizing he lost them all over again. It must show on his face because Ajay is crawling forward, trying to get him to look up.

Octavio's breath is coming out heavily. He's pushing out ragged, uneven breaths from his already sore throat. It probably wouldn't hurt so much if he hadn't been yelling minutes ago. He kind of wants to yell again. The sound is stuck in his throat along with his heart. He can feel his pulse on his tongue, hear it in his ears.

He chokes back a sound that's a mix between a sob and a yelp. He's too weak to scream, so he just stops there heaving, staring down at where his legs used to be. His thighs aren't hurting anymore, but that's even more alarming when he realizes he can't feel _anything._ Octavio feels like he's a ghost, watching his arms try to reach out for his legs only to be met with the crumpled bed sheets in front of him. Where did they go? Why can't he touch them?

Ajay can be seen grabbing at his hands or his face. That's just about it though. She's saying something too but it's muffled. Octavio can't really feel where she touches and can't seem to get himself to look at her face. It scares him even more. He's panicking.

Then, suddenly, he can't see. For a terrifying, heart stopping moment, Octavio thinks he's blacked out again or gone blind somehow. But the gasping breath he takes overwhelms him with a familiar flowery scent. He had froze, when realizing he was blind, and that helps him isolate his focus to what little he _can_ feel.

There's a pressure around his eyes, over his nose and on his forehead. He realizes, slowly, that Ajay's simply covering his eyes. Right. He had asked for her, for her help. Octavio focuses on his friend's presence. She's pressing over his eyes tightly to make sure he can't see a thing. She's close enough he can smell the lotion she likes to put on before bed after a bath. A few seconds later, he recognizes the smell of the shampoo she likes to use during that bath too.

Octavio didn't realize he had sat up until he realizes he's laying down again. Ajay is lowering him onto a pillow with a hand on his waist. She's speaking softly, but quickly, “I gotcha, I gotcha… You're doin’ good, real good…”

Once Octavio feels safe against the pillows and old mattress, he allows himself to breathe more deeply no matter how shaky. Feeling is coming to his fingers and toes somehow. The tingling sensation creeps up his joints ever so slowly as he lays still beneath Ajay's hand.

“Just breathe, ‘Tavi,” she says. Her voice is so close and seems to come from everywhere. “I'm right here... Let me know when ya want me to move away.”

“F-fingers,” he croaks out. His throat feels awful and raw but he can't bring himself to clear it. “They're - t-tingle.”

Ajay touches one of his palms, hesitantly testing if he'd jerk away. He doesn't. He only breathes slowly and deeply. Then she presses more insistently. Octavio lets her turn his hand this way then that way, massaging the muscles gently to bring life into them. Soon, she starts to massage up his wrist and his arm.

“Good?” she asks.

Octavio only grunts in reply. He still feels like he's having an out of body experience. Halfway between consciousness and unconsciousness. Whether it's because of exhaustion or how much he hurt himself earlier is a good question.

“Keep goin’?”

Another grunt. Ajay chuckles a bit. It sounds just as tired as he feels. When she begins to massage Octavio's other hand, he realizes how much more he can feel now. There's no longer any terrifying numbness caused by panic, nor a steady creep of pins and needles as feeling comes back to his fingertips. Instead, the dreadful ache from bruises and muscle overuse remains.

Octavio tries to focus on Ajay again, but the touch of her fingers isn't a good enough distraction. His face contorts into a grimace as a seemingly random spot on his torso pulses in a dull ache, mirroring the beat of his heart. Ajay stops massaging him immediately. Her fingers freeze and barely touch the skin anymore.

With a scowl directed more toward his body than anything else, Octavio reaches up to uncover his eyes. He holds Ajay's hand tightly as he blinks up at her through the dim hotel lighting.

“Not you, amiga,” He tries to sound reassuring even as he maintains a painful scowl. “Y-you're not hurting me.”

It must work because Ajay smiles and returns to massaging his arm with her unoccupied hand. Her hair is a mess, but not enough so that it will stay that way. Octavio has known her long enough that if he were to touch her bright pink hair now, it would be damp and easily brushed; but if he touched it half an hour from now, it would be dry and easy to knot.

There's also a small smile that stays on her face despite her eyes drooping closed a few moments. It breaks Octavio's heart to think he woke her up so suddenly, but he finds a little peace knowing she still hasn't left.

Octavio's own body jolt snaps him out of his thoughts. An odd but powerful bolt of pain shoots up his spine. It travels up from his tailbone with a wave of heat pooling beneath his hips in a way that must leave the skin hot to the touch.

Ajay's eyes widen when Octavio jolts. She tries to stop touching him but the pain has him reflexively holding onto her tighter. It ends just as quickly as it began, leaving dull heat in its wake.

Ajay frowns, “What's wrong, ‘Tavi? Ya worried everyone out there.” Octavio looks away and huffs. He doesn't really know, but is not in the mood to talk anyway. This isn't a good reply because Ajay's frown grows. “I'm serious. Tell me what happened…”

He grits his teeth, suddenly holding tighter to her hand when another bout of pain travels down his legs, “Es tonto.”

“Nothin's dumb. Spill. So I can help.”

Octavio groans, “I guess I rolled off the bed or something cuz I just wake up and boom, on the ground.”

Ajay grimaces, “That's usually what happens.”

“Yeah, well, it hurt,” Octavio scowls. Not at her - never at her. But at the situation. The _aches._ “I don't get it. I just _fell_ but now everything fucking hurts. I couldn't get up and I just kept falling and _falling_ and it just _hurt._ ”

By now, Octavio is near furious. He's let go of Ajay to run shaking hands through his hair. The anger in his heart makes his breathing has heavier again. Ajay puts a hand on his sweaty chest to remind him to relax.

“ _What_ hurts, Octavio?” she asks with a curious look, as though Octavio isn't getting angrier by the second.

“ _Everything!_ ” He snaps. “My head, my arm, my face, my back - my - my _legs_ , my knees, my feet, everything, Ajay!” Yelling now. “It doesn't make _sense!_ It just _happens_ and I c-can't d- _AH!_ ”

Ajay rushes to help when Octavio curls up in pain. He lets out a hoarse scream as he hunches over the stumps. His hands are shaking over them, wanting to grab what hurts to make it feel better but there's nothing there. Ajay tries to hold Octavio to give him stability but he pushes her away.

There are tears threatening to break free but Octavio won't let them. He should be stronger than this. _It's not even real,_ he tells himself. With a growl, Octavio presses the heel of his palms into the meat of his thighs. He aggressively tries to massage away the pain the same way Ajay had done for years. It doesn't work, just makes it worse, but he keeps trying.

His body is so heavy and he feels like he just pushed a boulder up a mountain with only his legs. They're sore in a way he's never felt when he actually had them. The base of his stumps burn like the day he lost them. It makes his hands feel like ice.

“ ‘Tavi, stop, you're gonna hurt ya self,” Ajay says. There's panic in her voice. She reaches over to pull Octavio's hands away but is met with a cold shoulder.

Octavio pushes her away. “I'm already hurting! It w-won't matter!”

“Octavio, stop.” Her tone is serious. He's hardly paying attention. Ajay tries to reach around to grab at his hands but he keeps turning away. “Stop it, Octavio, _now!_ ”

There's a string of curses coming from his lips. He can't remember a single one as he starts to spill over the edge too. Octavio's eyes are screwed shut, trying to focus on taking away the heavy weight of his legs, the ache of his thighs.

In his desperation, Octavio's hands get sweaty, and he can't quite grab at his legs anymore. Ajay is quick to snatch his wrists in an iron grip when he slips up. She forces him to lay back down. His back feels like a coiled spring after hunching over, making him squirm beneath her for a more comfortable position.

“Octavio, I swear I’ll kill ya, _stop moving._ ”

He does, if only to yell at the ceiling. His wrists are bound painfully tight by Ajay in front of him and his legs are uselessly throbbing below so his only way to relieve stress is by taking it out at the ceiling.

“AAAHHH!!! It _hurts!_ ” He screams, more out of frustration than pain.

“No, it doesn't,” Ajay huffs. “Quiet down, you'll be alright.”

Octavio squirms in her hold. He doesn't want to make eye contact with her because he knows she's upset with him. He's just as upset. How can he be in pain from something that happened years ago? Isn't he supposed to be fixed now? It doesn't make sense. He's supposed to be better than this.

“Voy a romper algo,” he grits out. “Gonna - _hurts._ ”

“Ya wanna throw somethin’?” Ajay asks. It's rather mocking. She's angry. “ _Really?_ Here, fuckin’ throw somethin’.”

Ajay promptly lets go of Octavio's hands and shoves something solid into them. He grips it with intent, then feels the remnants of an explosion crawl up his thighs. It _hurts._ There's not a second where he hesitates to throw the thing as hard he can across the room with something akin to a battle cry. He puts all of his anger and pain into the action as if it would make him feel better.

It shatters loudly, rivaling his own yelling. It's like a gunshot in the room, piercing, deafening. The sound is so loud it has Octavio shuddering to a halt. There's a ringing in his ears, different to a grenade explosion over the cheer of a crowd. It forces him to flinch back and hold his breath.

There's nothing on the wall where he had thrown the object. Little shards of glass can be seen shooting through the air almost in slow motion. Octavio watches dumbly as they spray in all directions then fall across the carpet for someone else to hurt themself.

For a few seconds, Octavio stops. He's suddenly fully aware of the silence of the world. It was only him who had disrupted it. Ajay sits beside him quietly. She didn't stop him. She's not even touching him now. It was all him. If he stopped for just a moment, he might have realized the glass in his hand took the pressure as he squeezed it, gave him an odd sense of stability. And now, he wonders if it was worth it.

Octavio's hands shake. Not from pain, not from panic, but from the steady fear and realization of the mess he made. He looks down at his hands with deep breaths. He might as well have set a bomb off with amount of sound he made. The people he must have disturbed. The ones he may hurt by spreading broken glass over the ground. All at once, all he feels is incredible guilt.

“ ‘m-” He starts. He finally turns to face Ajay head on. Her hair is more a of mess than it was moment earlier. There's a deep scowl on her face and her arms are crossed. She isn't looking at him, only at the bed. “Lo siento, Ajay,” he whispers. “I'm so - so sorry.”

She looks up to meet his eyes, slowly. Ajay's arms come uncrossed to slump in her lap. They stare at each other for a second. Whatever emotions she sees on his face is enough to have her scowl slip away to something more resigned and exhausted. Octavio's heart breaks.

“Yeah,” she says quietly. “You should be…”

Octavio lets her lay him down for yet another time. He doesn't plan on getting up again. He just watches as she fixes the covers around them, then the pillows, then his hair. Her touch is gentle, despite everything. Ajay catches his eyes in her own tired ones. She raises an eyebrow and reaches down to snap the waistband of his briefs against his hip.

“Hurt?” She asks, a tilt to her lips. She's mocking him, just a bit. Her words don't have any real sting.

Octavio does feel a little sting from the action, but he shakes his head. “No...”

Ajay purses her lips as she checks him over for injuries. “Ya sure? On a scale of one to ten.”

There's a subtle throbbing at the back of his head and his thighs feel hot and possibly bruised. Other than that, there's no blinding pain in his spine, no soreness in his legs, no ache of his wrists. He hums, “Tres.”

“See? Told ya it wasn't that bad…”

“It felt real.”

“I know… But you're better now.”

Octavio only hums and looks away. It's always amazing how well Ajay is able to calm him down. She's careful and funny nearly all the time but most importantly, she's tough and mean when he needs it most. He's been erratic tonight and she pulled him out of it.

“Thank you,” he mumbles. It's not quiet because he's ashamed, but more because he's tired.

Ajay really smiles for the first time that night and runs her hands through his hair. “Welcome.”

When she moves to get off the bed, Octavio sort of panics. He scrambles to bring her back and it has Ajay laughing. “Don’ worry. Imma getcha some painkillers and somethin’ to help ya sleep.”

He furrows his eyebrows, “Alright... But uh, you couldn't've gotten them before?”

She snorts and brushes her hair out of her eyes. “You really think ya would've stopped and taken them?”

“Good point.”

“I'll be right back,” she says as she carefully treads her way through the broken glass out the door.

Octavio feels especially guilty about throwing that glass. Now someone could really get hurt because of his bout of anger. He contemplates cleaning it up now but as he moves forward, he realizes how much he'd rather take a shower instead. His whole body is drenched in sweat, making him sticky from his head to his stumps. It's a miracle Ajay didn't throw him in the tub once he calmed down.

Octavio picks himself up, carefully lowers himself to the ground, and makes his way to the bathroom. He's gotten good at taking baths and showers by himself, so he decides to clean himself up before going back to bed. If he had more time, he would've enjoyed a bath to soothe his muscles better, but he likes showers more anyway.

It doesn't take too long for Ajay to announce her return with a knock on the door. He quickly finishes up, drying himself down, then putting back on his briefs. It's not like he needs _pants._ Boxers and pants tend to slip off during the night anyway. It's not cold enough for a shirt either and the briefs always stay on snug.

Octavio finds Ajay combing her hair in front of a small mirror that's been inconveniently placed in a corner. She's wearing a frown because of how she can't get a good look at herself but it turns to a smile when she sees him. He returns it.

The climb up on the bed easier this time, now that he isn't in so much pain. It's still there as a dull, annoying ache, but it's nothing Ajay can't fix. He swallows down the pills she set aside with some water and promptly falls back against the pillows.

Ajay wastes no time to drop beside him. She's on her stomach, looking up at him with smile. “All tuckered out, big boy?”

Octavio snorts, rolling his eyes. “Yes, _abuela,_ ” he teases back.

Ajay laughs and crawls up to him until she's level with his eyes. She rests her cheek on one hand while casually checking Octavio's pulse with the other. He looks up at his friend almost sadly.

“You don't have to be here anymore,” he says when she checks his wrists too. “You can sleep in your own bed.”

Ajay shakes her head. She rolls around until she can reach one of the end tables and press a button. It turns off all the lights in the room. Then she rolls back to rest her head on Octavio's outstretched arm. “Too late! Bed time, ‘Tavi.”

He makes a few noises of discomfort for really no reason. It's dark and he's tired, so he adjusts to make her more comfortable instead of pushing her away. It's not long before the silence of the night returns. All he can hear is their breathing in the dark.

It makes him a bit unsettled. even with the help of sleeping pills, Octavio is having trouble falling asleep in the silence. Maybe he just expects it to work immediately. Ajay is quiet below him, resting with the full intent of sleeping soundly. He takes a risk anyway.

“Hey, Ajay?” He whispers like his voice might sound like thunder. Ajay hums in reply but doesn't move. “I… feel kinda bad about breaking the glass.”

She snorts now, quiet and tired. “Really? After yellin’ and swearin’? It's the glass?”

“Well, uh - yeah, I--”

“It's alright. We'll pay for it,” she assures. A hand comes up to pat him affectionately.

“ _I'll_ pay for it,” he argues uselessly. Maybe he just wants to talk to her more to show her gratitude. It's a little ironic considering he's keeping her up.

“It's okay, ‘Tavi, I'm loaded,” she says through a smile, no doubt a proud one.

“We're _both_ loaded, amiga. We're both from rich families. I'm the _sole heir_ of--”

“Yeah yeah, Silva Pharmaceuticals. If ya want ta replace the glass so bad, ya might as well replace the whole hotel.”

“Nah, demasiado trabajo.”

Ajay giggles, “Then shut up and go to sleep.”

He snickers a bit before settling down. Octavio pulls her closer, for his sake more than anything. She doesn't complain. Instead, she lays her head on Octavio's chest and puts both arms around his torso. She holds him tight. Octavio holds her tighter.

“Thanks,” he mumbles in her hair, hoping she hears it.

“No problem,” she whispers back, “You know I'd do anythin’ for ya.”

-

When Octavio wakes up, it's to an empty bed. Light from the city outside shines in through the thin hotel curtains. He finds himself oddly rested and faintly sore, like he got back from a particularly hard match.

There's a bruise at the corner of his thigh and stump, where he landed many times, and a bit of rug burn on his cheek. Octavio hums, grateful he had Ajay to help him through the night. Then he sets out to get dressed to find her.

After a bit of crawling around, Octavio notices the shattered glass on the carpet had been cleared. He wonders if it was a maid who snuck in while they were sleeping or if it was Ajay. He hopes it was a maid who snuck in. Ajay shouldn't have to clean up after him.

Either way, Octavio is clear to crawl in search of a wheelchair. It's clear his tender stumps don't like being stuffed into his prosthetics so he has to resort to the old ways of transportation. At the top of the hotel closet, he finds a wheelchair folded up neatly. Unamused, he sits down and texts Ajay for help.

Makoa ends up at his door instead. Octavio only smiles sheepishly and points at the top shelf miles above him. The man laughs but wastes no time in effortlessly bringing the wheelchair down and setting Octavio in it, much to his dismay.

Octavio speeds down the hotel halls with Makoa on his tail like he's on a race track. The wheelchair has surprisingly good speed. It isn't until he gets a spark in his eyes and a smirk on his lips at the top of the stairs that Makoa manages to yank him out of the chair before it tumbles down loudly.

The two make it safely and slowly to the food court, where seven of Octavio's favorite legends lounge about eating breakfast. He spots Elliott first, who barely looks up from his mug to say a greeting. Octavio doesn't mind, it takes him two solid pushes of his wheels to get to where a collection of white plastic bags stand.

“Anita and Ajay went out and bought us crepes,” Elliott explains, leaning back on a raggedy couch beside the buffet. He leans his head back after a chug of his drink, “Coffee always hits the spot, though.”

Octavio chuckles and looks through the bags until he finds his name scribbled on a box. Opening it, he sees a delicious combination of cream and strawberry crepe goodness. His favorite. It barely even registers that he hasn't had this in years before a hand from behind is ruffling his hair. He turns quickly to see his best friend smiling down at him.

“Ajay!” He exclaims, arms coming up to bring her into as much of a hug he can. “Buenos dias, mi amor!”

She snorts and rolls her eyes, “Shut up, ya sap.”

There's no bite to her words, just a simple tease back. She still smiles brightly and slips herself onto Octavio with her legs over the arm of the wheelchair just as she's done countless time before. She takes the box with Octavio's name on it to peer inside.

“It's your favorite,” she says gently. “Cuz ya had a hard night.”

For just a moment, Octavio's smile falters. He doesn't know if it's because he's ashamed or if he was really trying to forget everything that happened, or both. Either way, he regains his smile upon seeing Ajay's open hands and own kind smile.

“I did... thanks.”

Feeling a little emotional at Ajay's act of kindness despite everything he put her through, Octavio takes a big breath and turns the wheelchair to face the rest of the legends. They're lounging around the food court, talking to each other quietly. He bites his lip nervously and Ajay tilts her head at him.

He clears his throat to speak louder, “Uh, guys? I wanna - say somethin’.”

Ajay's along with everyone else's eyebrows rise. She seems to know where this is going because she puts on a big smile and nods up at Octavio to continue. He glances up at the other legends, who have surprised expressions but interested ones.

“I wanted to say sorry,” he begins. He tries to play it off cool with a shrug but the reality makes him melt into a nervous rag quickly. “For being pretty annoying last night. I've got this thing Ajay calls PTFD where sometimes I get these phantom pains and shit. So I feel my legs when they're not really there and sometimes it can turn into what she also calls panic attacks, which is - something painful too?”

Octavio’s aware he started rambling but when he looks up, he only sees faces of understanding and smiles of respect. He smiles awkwardly back and it makes Ajay chuckle quietly.

It's Wraith that speaks up first. She speaks softly, unlike what he usually hears from her. “Hey, don't worry about it too much, okay? Trust me, you're not the only one in the world with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We understand… Some maybe more than you think.”

Octavio lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He grins, feeling more relieved at the words than he thought he would. “Thanks… Really.”

“No problem, man,” she responds with a dismissive wave, her former persona back in full swing. The other legends laugh and say things on similar notes. They understand, and don't blame him for acting out suddenly, especially now that they know a deeper reason. It fills Octavio's heart like an injection of pure affection. He feels lighter and grateful, for speaking about a problem he has no control over and for having such nice friends who get it. He's not alone in this. He's got Ajay, and some friends who may be going through similar things.

Ajay runs a hand through his hair, a grin matching his. She hums, saying, “See? No biggie.”

“Sí, no biggie.”

She laughs and punches him in the arm, but with how glad Octavio is to have her in his life, he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> yus, soft love.
> 
> Yes, octavio said ptfd, he kinda has a short attention span but he understands the jist of it! I included the last part because !! it's very important to acknowledge the discomfort you may have caused other people. He apologized and he was met with understanding! It's also important to know you're not alone. The other legends obvs do the same work as he does but when it comes to personal trauma, some of them ( I hinted at Wraith's past ) may be going through similar issues :/ Even if he doesn't know what exactly they suffer from, he knows he's !! not !! alone !!
> 
> Thank you for reading , , , ily


End file.
